God Of This City

You’re the God of this city
You’re the King of these people
You’re the Lord of this nation
You are

You’re the light in this darkness
You’re the hope to the hopeless
You’re the peace to the restless
You are

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things have still to be done in this city

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
And great things are still to be done in this city

Cory Asbury "Where I Belong"

Cory Asbury "Where I Belong" (Song #34 on my player)

Your presence is all I am longing for, here in the secret place
Your nearness is all I am waiting for, here in the quiet place
Here in the secret place

My soul waits for You alone
Like the watchman wait for dawn
Here I've finally found a place
Where we'll meet, Lord, face to face

I've finally found where I belong
I've finally found where I belong, in Your presence
I've finally found where I belong, it's to be with You, to be with You

I've finally found where I belong
I've finally found where I belong, in Your presence
I've finally found where I belong, it's to be with You

Your presence is all I am longing for, here in the secret place
Your nearness is all I am waiting for, here in the quiet place
Here in the secret place

My soul waits for You alone
Like the watchman wait for dawn
Here I've finally found a place
Where we'll meet, Lord, face to face

I've finally found where I belong
I've finally found where I belong, in Your presence
I've finally found where I belong, it's to be with You, to be with You

I've finally found where I belong
I've finally found where I belong, in Your presence
I've finally found where I belong, it's to be with You, to be with You

I've finally found where I belong
I've finally found where I belong, in Your presence
I've finally found where I belong, it's to be with You, to be with You

I've finally found where I belong
I've finally found where I belong, in Your presence
I've finally found where I belong, it's to be with You

I am my Beloved's and He is mine
So come into Your garden and take delight in me, take delight in me

I am my Beloved's and He is mine
So come into Your garden and take delight in me, take delight in me

I am my Beloved's and He is mine
So come into Your garden and take delight in me, take delight in me

I am my Beloved's and He is mine
So come into Your garden and take delight in me, take delight in me

Delight in me, delight in me
Delight in me, delight in me

Delight in me, delight in me
Delight in me, delight in me

Here in Your presence, God, I find my rest
Here in Your presence, God

Here in Your presence, God, I find my rest
Here in Your presence, God

25 totally random facts

I am having a seriously hard time gathering my thoughts together to post something, so here's some randomness about me... I posted something like this back in February, but... yeah....

1) I want to be homeless. Seriously. I want to wash my hair in a McDonald's bathroom sink and wonder where my next meal will come from. I want to see and experience life as a homeless person does.

2) Being a parent is the hardest job in the entire world. I have a new level of love and respect for my parents. Mia is my world though... I adore her. She's one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

3) I need people. I am a people person. I honestly do not understand people who need so much alone time. I can't even remember the last time I thought to myself it would be so nice to have some alone time. That's definitely not me.

4) I'm not an animal person. Dogs are cool, but the second one jumps on me, I'll freak out. Don't know why. However turtles are kinda cool...

5) My dad inspires me. His boldness blows my mind. I don't know if I'll ever find a man that I respect as much as I do my dad.

6) I think that the new facebook is lame. I do not spend nearly as much time on facebook as I used to. THANK GOD.

7) It's very hard for me to say the words "I love you", but I genuinely love my friends. I wouldn't be where I am today without them.

8) I am opinionated. Sometimes I give out my opinion when I know I shouldn't. I'm working on that one... I'm still learning the filter.

9) I want more than anything to be like Jesus. He is the most radical man to ever walk the face of this earth. I'm in love with Him.

10) I'd rather be with a man who's a recovering heroine addict that is MADLY in love w/ Jesus than a "perfect", hypocritical, passive Christian.

11) I am very trusting. It's just part of my nature. When I meet you, I automatically trust you. Which is a blessing and a curse. I think that's why I'm so open and honest. I just trust people.

12) I never got my wisdom teeth. They just never grew in. Is that normal?

13) I hate this mindset that we have as Americans that if we don't buy our kids lots of crap that they do not need, we don't love them.

14) I wish I was musically talented. Sometimes I ask God why he didn't give me that gift... I think it's because he knew it'd be too prideful if I was musically talented.

15) I have been an entire week without taking a shower. I was pretty frickin nasty. It was freezing cold... I was in Africa... (ha- I don't know why I just admitted to that)

16) I am not a picky eater. Sure, there's stuff that I'd rather not eat (squash- gross), however I'll eat pretty much anything. Born to be a missionary I guess.

17) I'm pretty sure I do not wash my jeans often enough. How often is "enough"? I don't get when people wash their jeans after only wearing them once. That's just strange.

18) For years I wished I had straight hair instead of curly. In the past few months I've embraced the curl more than ever. That doesn't mean that I'm retiring the flat iron or anything... just not using it quite as much.

19) I absolutely hate cats. I'm highly allergic PLUS I was traumatized as a child... we got a little kitten that went psycho on me and clawed my lip. It's fingernail got stuck in my lip. I was about 7 years old. It was truly traumatizing. (What is it about things getting caught in my lip??)

20) I would love to have a few little boys. However, there are days when Mia gives me such a hard time and I feel so overwhelmed that I think I'll never have any more kids. One day, I suppose.

21) I was bald until I was 3. Literally... bald. That's part of the reason why my mom got my ears pierced. She dressed me in lacy, pink dresses and STILL people would say, "What a cute little boy!"

22) I'm terrified of needles. When I have to have blood drawn I get all teary eyed and sometimes faint. It's quite embarrassing. I'm not sure why I don't mind needles as much when I get a piercing...

23) I had really bad asthma as a child. When I was 4, I was hospitalized for a week because of an asthma attack. I remember it very well. I rarely have issues with it anymore though.

24) I don't remember how to write in cursive. I can remember certain letters, but when I try to write and actually make words, my mind goes blank. I learned how to write in cursive in 1st grade but was never required to write in cursive after 1st grade.

25) Somewhere deep down inside of me is the desire to plant a church. Don't know if or when that's ever going to happen, but the desire is there. Runs in the family I guess.

Hurricane

"Hurricane" Jimmy Needham

I have built a city here
Half with pride and half with fear
Just wanted a safer place to hide
I don’t want to be safe tonight

CHORUS
I need You like a hurricane
Thunder crashing, wind and rain
To tear my walls down
I’m only Yours now
I need you like a burning flame
A wild fire untamed
To burn these walls down
I’m only Yours now
I’m only Yours now

I am Yours and You are mine
You know far better than I
And if destruction’s what I need
Then I’ll receive it Lord from Thee
Yes, I’ll receive it Lord from Thee

(Chorus)

And it’s Your eye in the storm
Watching over me
And it’s Your eye in the storm
Wanting only good for me
And if You are the war
Let me be the casualty
‘Til I’m Yours alone
I am only Yours
I am Yours alone, Lord

(Chorus)

Come be my hurricane

Raw Christianity

Okay. I have been really struggling with what to write about. I have so many different random thoughts going through my mind. Let me try to pull them together and see how things goes...

I went to FCA the other night, and the guy spoke about alcohol. First let me say that it was the most biblical sermon I have ever heard about alcohol and I enjoyed it, but this post is not about alcohol. He talked about sins that go along w/ alcohol. Judgment. Foolishness. Drunkenness. But here's what touched my heart. At the end of the whole thing, he said a prayer and in a half lit room, with hundreds of college kids and he said this: "If you're here and you've struggled with acting foolish because of alcohol will you stand and I'll pray for you". People stood. He prayed. Then he said, "if you're in this room and you've struggled with judgment because of alcohol. Maybe you choose to drink and you've judged people who choose not to. Or maybe you choose not to drink and judge those who do. Regardless, stand up and I'm going to pray for you". And TONS of people stood up. I looked to my right and saw a couple of men crying. As I watched their tears flow, I could feel their heart felt repentance. That act of complete humility brought me to tears. I wept with them and thanked God for allowing me to see humility.

So I've been thinking about that for about a week now. And I've been asking myself if I am moved to tears over my sins. Am I repentant? Do I possess that kind of humility? Am I willing to be completely open and vulnerable about my struggles?

What's the difference in my struggles and yours? What's so different about my anger and pride struggles and an alcoholic's struggles? What's the difference in a problem with gossip and a problem with drug addiction? What's so hard to believe about a follower of Christ struggling with addiction? Is that unbelievable? We try to minimize our sin and point out others so maybe people wont see ours. Is it possible for a drug addict to get radically saved yet still have "side effects"? I think so. It takes years to build up addictions and when people aren't 100% changed overnight, we persecute them. And I'm asking how judgment is any less of a sin than getting high? (Understand that I'm not condoning sin, I just don't see why Christians place addiction as a sin that's above all others. Sin is sin. Period.)

I'm so stuck on the rawness right now. I'm asking God to allow me to see that kind of honesty and I'm getting it. It's a beautiful thing.

Fear of Man

Last week's weather was absolutely beautiful. I was helping Somer move and we totally slacked off a couple days and got a blanket and laid out in the yard. The weather was too nice to pass up. Thank God we got all the moving and packing done... I'm not even sure how it all came together, but it did.

I know that I'm totally copying Somer's post, BUT God has put something so heavily on my heart lately that I had to write about it. The past couple weeks I've been thinking about fear. God's been showing me that I have more fear in my heart than I want to admit. Fear of stepping out into the unknown with God, fear of man, fear trusting people... lots of different stuff.

Let me first address fear of man. I do not want to be a woman who let's other people's opinions of me dictate how I live my life. But, I think a lot of times, I am. Last week, some friends and I met a woman who was getting a ride with someone but the guy kicked her out because she didn't have money to give him for gas. My two friends brought her inside, prayed with her, encouraged her and then gave her a ride themselves. The gentleness I saw that they had with this hurting woman touched my heart. I saw two crazy, Christian boys step out of their wordly comfort zone and speak truth and love to this woman. As I watched them interact with her, I asked myself if I was willing to do that. If I was willing to look weird in the world's eyes for my God. I've been asking myself this since that day last week. Their example of Jesus is exactly what I want to be. Their tangible love is what I want to give. That message of hope is what I want to offer the world. BUT when it all comes down to it, am I REALLY bold enough? God, I hope so.

Okay so now fear of stepping out into the unknown with God. Honestly, I think that this, for me, is intertwined with fear of man. Because I am not afraid of anything God could call me to do. I'm not. The more radical and crazy the better. But, I let myself second guess that passion because of fear of what my family or friends might say about me. I settle for comfortable and safe. I hate that. I hate that I can be so easily persuaded by the world. I want so badly to see Christians (including myself) have REAL relationships with each other. I want honestly and transparency. I want truth. I want to love and be loved in spite of failures. I want to be surrounded by followers of Christ who are admittedly struggling with issues in their lives but their hearts are desperate for Jesus. So many times we feel like we cannot be honest with each other because of judgement. So can we just stop? Stop judging each other and start loving each other? Please?


Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation:
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?

radical obedience

I am captivated by Jesus. I'm so intrigued by His words. He is without a doubt, the most radical man that has ever walked this earth. Since doing my School of Biblical Studies last year, I have had an obsession with the gospels. I can't get enough. Lately, I've felt really compelled to meditate on the story of the rich young man (it's in Luke 18.18-30, Matthew 19:16-30 and Mark 19:17-30).


The following is from Luke 18:18-30

¹⁸An important man asked Jesus, "Good Teacher, what must I do to have eternal life?"

¹⁹Jesus said, "Why do you call me good? Only God is good. ²⁰You know the commandments: `Be faithful in marriage. Do not murder. Do not steal. Do not tell lies about others. Respect your father and mother.' "

²¹He told Jesus, "I have obeyed all these commandments since I was a young man."

²²When Jesus heard this, he said, "There is one thing you still need to do. Go and sell everything you own! Give the money to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven. Then come and be my follower." ²³When the man heard this, he was sad, because he was very rich.

²⁴Jesus saw how sad the man was. So he said, "It's terribly hard for rich people to get into God's kingdom! ²⁵In fact, it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to get into God's kingdom."

²⁶When the crowd heard this, they asked, "How can anyone ever be saved?"

²⁷Jesus replied, "There are some things that people cannot do, but God can do anything."

²⁸Peter said, "Remember, we left everything to be your followers!"

²⁹Jesus answered, "You can be sure that anyone who gives up home or wife or brothers or family or children because of God's kingdom ³⁰will be given much more in this life. And in the future world they will have eternal life."

I can't get those words out of my mind. "What must I do to inherit eternal life" is the question that the rich man asks Jesus. Jesus' response blows my mind. "Go and sell everything you own". Jesus doesn't beat around the bush. He doesn't sugar coat it for the rich man. He simply says "Hey, if you're serious about being my disciple, sell your stuff and give it to the needy then follow me." Obviously his possessions were an idol in his life because the rich man became sad and in the other gospels it states that "he became sad and walked away". So here's my question. What if I was the rich man and this is how Jesus responded to me. Would I follow Him? Would I be willing to give up everything I have to follow? AM I WILLING TO GIVE UP EVERYTHING I HAVE TO FOLLOW CHRIST? Are you? Think about it...


There's a book that I'm about to start reading. It's called "Under the Overpass". It's a book about a guy named Miked Yankoski. Mike was extraordinarily challenged by his pastor's sermon: Be the Christian you say you are. Mike was living a comfortable, upper-middle class life. He was attending a Christian college in California and spent much of his time reading about talking about God. "But we were created to be and do, and not merely to discuss", he writes. "The hypocrisy of my life troubled me". He felt he lacked a life of "radical, living obedience". He claimed he depended on Christ, but never put his claim to the test.

So, he set out with a traveling companion, Sam Purvis, to live like the homeless in six American cities. Mike wanted "to put my faith to the test alongside those who live with nothing every day". He set out to understand the life of the homeless and see how the Church responds. His book follows their five month journey, hearing stories of the homeless and constantly struggling to find food, a place to sleep, a bathroom and compassion.

Pep Rally for the Soul

God is absolutely messing up my life... and it's FABULOUS. I feel like I have a been to a pep rally for my soul. Something in me feels different... stronger, more excited. I feel like I've fallen in love again.

Last night God blew my mind at the house church that Somer and I started going to. Music helps me feel connected to God's heart. Music puts me in a place of focus and reverence. Last night as we sang "Fire Fall Down", I saw God move so mightily in that room. As we sang praises to our God, I looked around the room and saw people crying, dancing, praying, SHOUTING, and laughing... It's just that when you encounter the Spirit of God there's a feeling a joy and freedom that is incomprehensible. There's a feeling of love and gratitude that is mystifying. And that's how I felt. The words that kept playing over and over in my mind were JOY and FREEDOM.

^"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty (emancipation from bondage, freedom)." 2 Corinthians 3:17


" ⁴³Everyone was amazed by the many miracles and wonders that the apostles worked. ⁴⁴All the Lord's followers often met together, and they shared everything they had. ⁴⁵They would sell their property and possessions and give the money to whoever needed it. ⁴⁶Day after day they met together in the temple. They broke bread together in different homes and shared their food happily and freely, ⁴⁷while praising God. Everyone liked them, and each day the Lord added to their group others who were being saved. " Acts 2:43-47

This is something that we talked about at church last night, and to me, this is one of the most inspiring, beautiful passages of scripture I've ever read. What would this world look like if we, as Christians, modeled our behavior after the early church?? They saw miracles, they shared EVERYTHING they had, they had fellowship together, they praised God, everyone liked them and EACH DAY they saw people's come to know Jesus. To them, it wasn't just a "Sunday" thing. This was their life, day after day. Desperate to see His kingdom come on the earth. This leaves me in complete awe.


These are the lyrics to "Fire Fall Down". It's song #1 on my play list. Listen to the lyrics. Read the lyrics. What would it look like if we meant the words to this song? "These hands are yours, teach them to serve where you please " "Your fire fall down on us, we pray" "show me your heart" "show me your way" "show me your glory"


"Fire Fall Down" -Hillsong United
Cause I know that you're alive
You came to fix my broken life
And I'll sing to glorify
Your Holy name, Jesus Christ

You bought my life with the blood
That you shed on the cross
When you died for the sins of men
And you let out a cry, crucified
Now alive in me

These hands are yours
Teach them to serve
As you please and I'll reach out
Desperate to see all the greatness of God
May my soul rest assured in you

I'll never be the same
No I'll never be the same
Cause I know that you're alive
You came to fix my broken life
And I'll sing to glorify
Your Holy name, Jesus Christ

You've changed it all
You broke down the wall
When I spoke and confessed
In you I am blessed
Now I walk in the light
In victorious sight of you

Fire fall down
Fire fall down
On us we pray
As we seek
Fire fall down
Your fire fall down
On us we pray

Show me your heart
Show me your way
Show me your glory