just a bit of reflecting and dreaming...

I've been a slacker. I've sat down dozens of times since I've been home, really wanting to write a blog but I've had trouble finding the words. However it's the beginning of a new year and I've been doing some reflecting on 2008 and dreaming about 2009 so here goes...

Well... I'm home (obviously) and I really didn't think I'd have a hard time getting adjusted. I knew it would be hard to leave all of my friends, and I knew it'd be a process learning to live with my parents (no offense to them! It's just that after I've lived away from home for so long... I've just gotten used to things a certain way). I can't really explain it. Things are just different. That being said... I'm an adapter. I am not in my element but for the time being, this is my home... I gotta just remember what I love about here. Looking around at how blessed I am, it's not hard to find things I love. I'm absolutely ecstatic to wake up every day and see my wonderful family. I've missed them tremendously.
But I have all these dreams and all this passion that if I don't do something with very soon I might just go a bit crazy. I have direction. I have goals. I have huge dreams that are not "normal" for a twenty-two year old, American woman. I want to be uncomfortable. I wanna be challenged. I wanna EXPERIENCE life to it's fullest. I wanna do things that at this point I've only dreamed of. I wanna give grace like I've never given it before. I wanna love others more than myself. Being radical for God is very very costly, but I know He's worth it.

I believe in people. I believe in enabling people to become world changers. I believe in restoration of lives... of communities. I believe in freedom. I believe in justice. I know what Jesus Christ has done in my own life and I want to do everything I can to tell people about how amazing my God is. I wanna sit down with people and hear their stories. I wanna hear about other people's journeys. I want to have an open ear and heart to people; to take the time to make people feel validated. I want to love others because Jesus loves them; because we're all worthy of love. I wanna TRULY love people. I'm currently learning what that looks like. I'm learning what it looks like to be like Christ. I fail... a lot, but I really am trying.

Isaiah 58:9-10 (contemporary version)
I'll tell you what it really means to worship the LORD. Remove the chains of prisoners who are chained unjustly. Free those who are abused! Share your food with everyone who is hungry; share your home with the poor and homeless. Give clothes to those in need; don't turn away your relatives. Then your light will shine like the dawning sun, and you will quickly be healed. Your honesty will protect you as you advance, and the glory of the LORD will defend you from behind. When you beg the LORD for help, he will answer, "Here I am!" Don't mistreat others or falsely accuse them or say something cruel. Give your food to the hungry and care for the homeless. Then your light will shine in the dark; your darkest hour will be like the noonday sun.

HOME!!!!

We're home!!! After about 30 hours of traveling, we finally made it back home. Mia did pretty good on the plane; she slept a good bit. I had a really hard time sleeping though and I'm still pretty tired. Jet lag this time has been a bit tougher than I thought. I'm exhausted at night and then wake up all throughout the night. Mia's pretty much the same with her sleeping schedule. She has a nasty cough too.

It feels a bit weird to be home. Kind of like a dream. Here are some things that are odd to me: to be able to open my fridge and eat whatever I want. To see white eggs. To see milk in a jug. To be able to use the computer at any point during the day. To have a house phone. To have a tv and satellite and tivo. To hear a southern accent... and you guys have THICK accents... thicker than I remember! To sleep in such a huge bed. Not to live with like 30 other people. To take an amazing, hot shower anytime I want... and it doesn't flood the entire hallway when I shower! To finally experience winter at home.

Although I have so much to get used to, I'm so happy to be home. Of course I know I'll miss South Africa, and it'll always have a place in my heart, it just feels good to be back around my family and friends. I already miss my South African friends though.

Please continue to pray for my team as they're rockin it in Botswana. I'm so proud of them and I cannot wait to hear all the stories of what God's doing in and through them in Botswana. I'll keep yall posted on the stories too. Anyway, thank you so much for all of your support and prayers. I wouldn't have be able to do what I did if it wasn't for you guys. Thanks a ton!

(UPDATE: the pictures are of my team in Botswana)