God Of This City

You’re the God of this city
You’re the King of these people
You’re the Lord of this nation
You are

You’re the light in this darkness
You’re the hope to the hopeless
You’re the peace to the restless
You are

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things have still to be done in this city

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
And great things are still to be done in this city

Cory Asbury "Where I Belong"

Cory Asbury "Where I Belong" (Song #34 on my player)

Your presence is all I am longing for, here in the secret place
Your nearness is all I am waiting for, here in the quiet place
Here in the secret place

My soul waits for You alone
Like the watchman wait for dawn
Here I've finally found a place
Where we'll meet, Lord, face to face

I've finally found where I belong
I've finally found where I belong, in Your presence
I've finally found where I belong, it's to be with You, to be with You

I've finally found where I belong
I've finally found where I belong, in Your presence
I've finally found where I belong, it's to be with You

Your presence is all I am longing for, here in the secret place
Your nearness is all I am waiting for, here in the quiet place
Here in the secret place

My soul waits for You alone
Like the watchman wait for dawn
Here I've finally found a place
Where we'll meet, Lord, face to face

I've finally found where I belong
I've finally found where I belong, in Your presence
I've finally found where I belong, it's to be with You, to be with You

I've finally found where I belong
I've finally found where I belong, in Your presence
I've finally found where I belong, it's to be with You, to be with You

I've finally found where I belong
I've finally found where I belong, in Your presence
I've finally found where I belong, it's to be with You, to be with You

I've finally found where I belong
I've finally found where I belong, in Your presence
I've finally found where I belong, it's to be with You

I am my Beloved's and He is mine
So come into Your garden and take delight in me, take delight in me

I am my Beloved's and He is mine
So come into Your garden and take delight in me, take delight in me

I am my Beloved's and He is mine
So come into Your garden and take delight in me, take delight in me

I am my Beloved's and He is mine
So come into Your garden and take delight in me, take delight in me

Delight in me, delight in me
Delight in me, delight in me

Delight in me, delight in me
Delight in me, delight in me

Here in Your presence, God, I find my rest
Here in Your presence, God

Here in Your presence, God, I find my rest
Here in Your presence, God

25 totally random facts

I am having a seriously hard time gathering my thoughts together to post something, so here's some randomness about me... I posted something like this back in February, but... yeah....

1) I want to be homeless. Seriously. I want to wash my hair in a McDonald's bathroom sink and wonder where my next meal will come from. I want to see and experience life as a homeless person does.

2) Being a parent is the hardest job in the entire world. I have a new level of love and respect for my parents. Mia is my world though... I adore her. She's one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

3) I need people. I am a people person. I honestly do not understand people who need so much alone time. I can't even remember the last time I thought to myself it would be so nice to have some alone time. That's definitely not me.

4) I'm not an animal person. Dogs are cool, but the second one jumps on me, I'll freak out. Don't know why. However turtles are kinda cool...

5) My dad inspires me. His boldness blows my mind. I don't know if I'll ever find a man that I respect as much as I do my dad.

6) I think that the new facebook is lame. I do not spend nearly as much time on facebook as I used to. THANK GOD.

7) It's very hard for me to say the words "I love you", but I genuinely love my friends. I wouldn't be where I am today without them.

8) I am opinionated. Sometimes I give out my opinion when I know I shouldn't. I'm working on that one... I'm still learning the filter.

9) I want more than anything to be like Jesus. He is the most radical man to ever walk the face of this earth. I'm in love with Him.

10) I'd rather be with a man who's a recovering heroine addict that is MADLY in love w/ Jesus than a "perfect", hypocritical, passive Christian.

11) I am very trusting. It's just part of my nature. When I meet you, I automatically trust you. Which is a blessing and a curse. I think that's why I'm so open and honest. I just trust people.

12) I never got my wisdom teeth. They just never grew in. Is that normal?

13) I hate this mindset that we have as Americans that if we don't buy our kids lots of crap that they do not need, we don't love them.

14) I wish I was musically talented. Sometimes I ask God why he didn't give me that gift... I think it's because he knew it'd be too prideful if I was musically talented.

15) I have been an entire week without taking a shower. I was pretty frickin nasty. It was freezing cold... I was in Africa... (ha- I don't know why I just admitted to that)

16) I am not a picky eater. Sure, there's stuff that I'd rather not eat (squash- gross), however I'll eat pretty much anything. Born to be a missionary I guess.

17) I'm pretty sure I do not wash my jeans often enough. How often is "enough"? I don't get when people wash their jeans after only wearing them once. That's just strange.

18) For years I wished I had straight hair instead of curly. In the past few months I've embraced the curl more than ever. That doesn't mean that I'm retiring the flat iron or anything... just not using it quite as much.

19) I absolutely hate cats. I'm highly allergic PLUS I was traumatized as a child... we got a little kitten that went psycho on me and clawed my lip. It's fingernail got stuck in my lip. I was about 7 years old. It was truly traumatizing. (What is it about things getting caught in my lip??)

20) I would love to have a few little boys. However, there are days when Mia gives me such a hard time and I feel so overwhelmed that I think I'll never have any more kids. One day, I suppose.

21) I was bald until I was 3. Literally... bald. That's part of the reason why my mom got my ears pierced. She dressed me in lacy, pink dresses and STILL people would say, "What a cute little boy!"

22) I'm terrified of needles. When I have to have blood drawn I get all teary eyed and sometimes faint. It's quite embarrassing. I'm not sure why I don't mind needles as much when I get a piercing...

23) I had really bad asthma as a child. When I was 4, I was hospitalized for a week because of an asthma attack. I remember it very well. I rarely have issues with it anymore though.

24) I don't remember how to write in cursive. I can remember certain letters, but when I try to write and actually make words, my mind goes blank. I learned how to write in cursive in 1st grade but was never required to write in cursive after 1st grade.

25) Somewhere deep down inside of me is the desire to plant a church. Don't know if or when that's ever going to happen, but the desire is there. Runs in the family I guess.

Hurricane

"Hurricane" Jimmy Needham

I have built a city here
Half with pride and half with fear
Just wanted a safer place to hide
I don’t want to be safe tonight

CHORUS
I need You like a hurricane
Thunder crashing, wind and rain
To tear my walls down
I’m only Yours now
I need you like a burning flame
A wild fire untamed
To burn these walls down
I’m only Yours now
I’m only Yours now

I am Yours and You are mine
You know far better than I
And if destruction’s what I need
Then I’ll receive it Lord from Thee
Yes, I’ll receive it Lord from Thee

(Chorus)

And it’s Your eye in the storm
Watching over me
And it’s Your eye in the storm
Wanting only good for me
And if You are the war
Let me be the casualty
‘Til I’m Yours alone
I am only Yours
I am Yours alone, Lord

(Chorus)

Come be my hurricane

Raw Christianity

Okay. I have been really struggling with what to write about. I have so many different random thoughts going through my mind. Let me try to pull them together and see how things goes...

I went to FCA the other night, and the guy spoke about alcohol. First let me say that it was the most biblical sermon I have ever heard about alcohol and I enjoyed it, but this post is not about alcohol. He talked about sins that go along w/ alcohol. Judgment. Foolishness. Drunkenness. But here's what touched my heart. At the end of the whole thing, he said a prayer and in a half lit room, with hundreds of college kids and he said this: "If you're here and you've struggled with acting foolish because of alcohol will you stand and I'll pray for you". People stood. He prayed. Then he said, "if you're in this room and you've struggled with judgment because of alcohol. Maybe you choose to drink and you've judged people who choose not to. Or maybe you choose not to drink and judge those who do. Regardless, stand up and I'm going to pray for you". And TONS of people stood up. I looked to my right and saw a couple of men crying. As I watched their tears flow, I could feel their heart felt repentance. That act of complete humility brought me to tears. I wept with them and thanked God for allowing me to see humility.

So I've been thinking about that for about a week now. And I've been asking myself if I am moved to tears over my sins. Am I repentant? Do I possess that kind of humility? Am I willing to be completely open and vulnerable about my struggles?

What's the difference in my struggles and yours? What's so different about my anger and pride struggles and an alcoholic's struggles? What's the difference in a problem with gossip and a problem with drug addiction? What's so hard to believe about a follower of Christ struggling with addiction? Is that unbelievable? We try to minimize our sin and point out others so maybe people wont see ours. Is it possible for a drug addict to get radically saved yet still have "side effects"? I think so. It takes years to build up addictions and when people aren't 100% changed overnight, we persecute them. And I'm asking how judgment is any less of a sin than getting high? (Understand that I'm not condoning sin, I just don't see why Christians place addiction as a sin that's above all others. Sin is sin. Period.)

I'm so stuck on the rawness right now. I'm asking God to allow me to see that kind of honesty and I'm getting it. It's a beautiful thing.

Fear of Man

Last week's weather was absolutely beautiful. I was helping Somer move and we totally slacked off a couple days and got a blanket and laid out in the yard. The weather was too nice to pass up. Thank God we got all the moving and packing done... I'm not even sure how it all came together, but it did.

I know that I'm totally copying Somer's post, BUT God has put something so heavily on my heart lately that I had to write about it. The past couple weeks I've been thinking about fear. God's been showing me that I have more fear in my heart than I want to admit. Fear of stepping out into the unknown with God, fear of man, fear trusting people... lots of different stuff.

Let me first address fear of man. I do not want to be a woman who let's other people's opinions of me dictate how I live my life. But, I think a lot of times, I am. Last week, some friends and I met a woman who was getting a ride with someone but the guy kicked her out because she didn't have money to give him for gas. My two friends brought her inside, prayed with her, encouraged her and then gave her a ride themselves. The gentleness I saw that they had with this hurting woman touched my heart. I saw two crazy, Christian boys step out of their wordly comfort zone and speak truth and love to this woman. As I watched them interact with her, I asked myself if I was willing to do that. If I was willing to look weird in the world's eyes for my God. I've been asking myself this since that day last week. Their example of Jesus is exactly what I want to be. Their tangible love is what I want to give. That message of hope is what I want to offer the world. BUT when it all comes down to it, am I REALLY bold enough? God, I hope so.

Okay so now fear of stepping out into the unknown with God. Honestly, I think that this, for me, is intertwined with fear of man. Because I am not afraid of anything God could call me to do. I'm not. The more radical and crazy the better. But, I let myself second guess that passion because of fear of what my family or friends might say about me. I settle for comfortable and safe. I hate that. I hate that I can be so easily persuaded by the world. I want so badly to see Christians (including myself) have REAL relationships with each other. I want honestly and transparency. I want truth. I want to love and be loved in spite of failures. I want to be surrounded by followers of Christ who are admittedly struggling with issues in their lives but their hearts are desperate for Jesus. So many times we feel like we cannot be honest with each other because of judgement. So can we just stop? Stop judging each other and start loving each other? Please?


Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation:
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?

radical obedience

I am captivated by Jesus. I'm so intrigued by His words. He is without a doubt, the most radical man that has ever walked this earth. Since doing my School of Biblical Studies last year, I have had an obsession with the gospels. I can't get enough. Lately, I've felt really compelled to meditate on the story of the rich young man (it's in Luke 18.18-30, Matthew 19:16-30 and Mark 19:17-30).


The following is from Luke 18:18-30

¹⁸An important man asked Jesus, "Good Teacher, what must I do to have eternal life?"

¹⁹Jesus said, "Why do you call me good? Only God is good. ²⁰You know the commandments: `Be faithful in marriage. Do not murder. Do not steal. Do not tell lies about others. Respect your father and mother.' "

²¹He told Jesus, "I have obeyed all these commandments since I was a young man."

²²When Jesus heard this, he said, "There is one thing you still need to do. Go and sell everything you own! Give the money to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven. Then come and be my follower." ²³When the man heard this, he was sad, because he was very rich.

²⁴Jesus saw how sad the man was. So he said, "It's terribly hard for rich people to get into God's kingdom! ²⁵In fact, it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to get into God's kingdom."

²⁶When the crowd heard this, they asked, "How can anyone ever be saved?"

²⁷Jesus replied, "There are some things that people cannot do, but God can do anything."

²⁸Peter said, "Remember, we left everything to be your followers!"

²⁹Jesus answered, "You can be sure that anyone who gives up home or wife or brothers or family or children because of God's kingdom ³⁰will be given much more in this life. And in the future world they will have eternal life."

I can't get those words out of my mind. "What must I do to inherit eternal life" is the question that the rich man asks Jesus. Jesus' response blows my mind. "Go and sell everything you own". Jesus doesn't beat around the bush. He doesn't sugar coat it for the rich man. He simply says "Hey, if you're serious about being my disciple, sell your stuff and give it to the needy then follow me." Obviously his possessions were an idol in his life because the rich man became sad and in the other gospels it states that "he became sad and walked away". So here's my question. What if I was the rich man and this is how Jesus responded to me. Would I follow Him? Would I be willing to give up everything I have to follow? AM I WILLING TO GIVE UP EVERYTHING I HAVE TO FOLLOW CHRIST? Are you? Think about it...


There's a book that I'm about to start reading. It's called "Under the Overpass". It's a book about a guy named Miked Yankoski. Mike was extraordinarily challenged by his pastor's sermon: Be the Christian you say you are. Mike was living a comfortable, upper-middle class life. He was attending a Christian college in California and spent much of his time reading about talking about God. "But we were created to be and do, and not merely to discuss", he writes. "The hypocrisy of my life troubled me". He felt he lacked a life of "radical, living obedience". He claimed he depended on Christ, but never put his claim to the test.

So, he set out with a traveling companion, Sam Purvis, to live like the homeless in six American cities. Mike wanted "to put my faith to the test alongside those who live with nothing every day". He set out to understand the life of the homeless and see how the Church responds. His book follows their five month journey, hearing stories of the homeless and constantly struggling to find food, a place to sleep, a bathroom and compassion.

Pep Rally for the Soul

God is absolutely messing up my life... and it's FABULOUS. I feel like I have a been to a pep rally for my soul. Something in me feels different... stronger, more excited. I feel like I've fallen in love again.

Last night God blew my mind at the house church that Somer and I started going to. Music helps me feel connected to God's heart. Music puts me in a place of focus and reverence. Last night as we sang "Fire Fall Down", I saw God move so mightily in that room. As we sang praises to our God, I looked around the room and saw people crying, dancing, praying, SHOUTING, and laughing... It's just that when you encounter the Spirit of God there's a feeling a joy and freedom that is incomprehensible. There's a feeling of love and gratitude that is mystifying. And that's how I felt. The words that kept playing over and over in my mind were JOY and FREEDOM.

^"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty (emancipation from bondage, freedom)." 2 Corinthians 3:17


" ⁴³Everyone was amazed by the many miracles and wonders that the apostles worked. ⁴⁴All the Lord's followers often met together, and they shared everything they had. ⁴⁵They would sell their property and possessions and give the money to whoever needed it. ⁴⁶Day after day they met together in the temple. They broke bread together in different homes and shared their food happily and freely, ⁴⁷while praising God. Everyone liked them, and each day the Lord added to their group others who were being saved. " Acts 2:43-47

This is something that we talked about at church last night, and to me, this is one of the most inspiring, beautiful passages of scripture I've ever read. What would this world look like if we, as Christians, modeled our behavior after the early church?? They saw miracles, they shared EVERYTHING they had, they had fellowship together, they praised God, everyone liked them and EACH DAY they saw people's come to know Jesus. To them, it wasn't just a "Sunday" thing. This was their life, day after day. Desperate to see His kingdom come on the earth. This leaves me in complete awe.


These are the lyrics to "Fire Fall Down". It's song #1 on my play list. Listen to the lyrics. Read the lyrics. What would it look like if we meant the words to this song? "These hands are yours, teach them to serve where you please " "Your fire fall down on us, we pray" "show me your heart" "show me your way" "show me your glory"


"Fire Fall Down" -Hillsong United
Cause I know that you're alive
You came to fix my broken life
And I'll sing to glorify
Your Holy name, Jesus Christ

You bought my life with the blood
That you shed on the cross
When you died for the sins of men
And you let out a cry, crucified
Now alive in me

These hands are yours
Teach them to serve
As you please and I'll reach out
Desperate to see all the greatness of God
May my soul rest assured in you

I'll never be the same
No I'll never be the same
Cause I know that you're alive
You came to fix my broken life
And I'll sing to glorify
Your Holy name, Jesus Christ

You've changed it all
You broke down the wall
When I spoke and confessed
In you I am blessed
Now I walk in the light
In victorious sight of you

Fire fall down
Fire fall down
On us we pray
As we seek
Fire fall down
Your fire fall down
On us we pray

Show me your heart
Show me your way
Show me your glory

Experiencing God in a Freezing Cold Coffee Lounge

Last night, Somer and I decided to step out of our comfort zones a little bit and went to a new church with about 25 other college aged kids that we did not know. Thank God I did, because I experienced God in that crowded, freezing cold room so deeply that I can honestly say that God shook me to my core.

His presence was more real in that room than I've experience in quite some time. His love was so incredibly thick and tangible that the only way I know how to explain it is that the power of His perfect love felt like there was a heaviness in my lungs. Everything in me was just completely focused on Christ... encompassed by His love.

It was a beautiful, monumental sight to see young people step up and wait on God and be 100% led by His Spirit. Not playing songs that they felt would have an impact, not saying words that they felt would impress... solely relying on the Holy Spirit to lead the entire night. There was intense intercession and prayer that I've NEVER seen in a church.

And the PEOPLE... there was a sincerity and a realness in them that I've been perpetually longing to see. These people were there to fellowship with the creator of the universe. They were desperate to know Jesus intimately. And in that place, you couldn't help but be sucked into the presence of God and be broken before Him. To worship God, totally uninhibited. I have been praying for while that I'd feel a sense of belonging and peace and that I'd be able to meet followers of Christ with hearts like mine. I've been begging God for Christian friends. I've been pleading with God for the connection that I felt last night.


God is faithful and He is good. Not just sometimes good, or sometimes faithful... ALWAYS. I am so grateful for these young Christians who are on fire for God and who want to impact the world for Him. I feel like I have a new respect for my generation.


Last night this song played over and over in my head. I could not get this song out of my mind. And when I woke up this morning it was still there...


"Your love is extravagant" -Casting Crowns

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel I'm moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in the secret place
Cause Your love is extravagant

Chorus:
Spread wide in the arms of Christ there's a love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel I'm moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in the secret place
Your love is extravagant

Spread wide in the arms of Christ there's a love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend
Spread wide in the arms of Christ there's a love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate

"She Is Mine" -Melissa Barber

This post is dedicated to a great friend of mine named Melissa. She was one of my students in Durban. Immediately after meeting her I felt a connection to her. Melissa is so desperate for God. She is literally one of the most incredible, passionate, beautiful people I've ever met in my life. She has the biggest heart and God's blessed her with some INCREDIBLE talent. Melissa will change the world. She's played a really big role in my life in the half a year that I've known her. Melissa, I have crazy amounts of respect for you and I love you to death. Okay, watch this video of her's... (the song she's singing in the video she wrote and she made this video)

"How He Loves"

This song just... it does something to me in my spirit... these lyrics are so intense that every single time i hear this song, i get goosebumps. Please watch the video too. Kim Walker rocks this song.




"How He Loves" -Kim Walker

He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.

Yeah, He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves.

So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

That he loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

He loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

[Whispered]: Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died and You met me between my breaking
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony
...they want to tell me You're cruel
But if Stephen could sing, he'd say it's not true, cause...[voice breaks]...

Cause He loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

Yeah, He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

Hope in a Pick-up Truck.

I've wanted to post something for the past 2 days. I have been searching for the right words though. I'm not too sure that I found them, but I'll give it a try...

I am so grateful how God blesses my heart in the most unique, beautiful way. Everything you're about to read is true...

There's someone in my life that I love... a lot. The problem is that his drug addiction has held him prisoner in his own body for many years. He's young... not quite 30. I have personally seen God miraculously intervene and save his life repeatedly. I believe with complete confidence that God has an enormous plan for this his life. I know it. I've been trusting God for a breakthrough in his life for a really long time now. And praise God, I believe it happened a couple days ago...

This person missed his bus for a very important job interview. Because he missed his bus, he would have to walk 8 miles to the interview and he had only an hour or so. Let's put two and two together... impossible. Half a mile into this man's walk to get to his interview, a random truck honks his horn. He keeps walking, not recognizing the truck. One mile later, the truck pulls next to him and a man inside says to my friend: "Hey there. Do you need something? Can I help you with something?" My friend, surprised, says "Well, yes sir. I missed my bus... I'm trying to make it to my interview. I'm not sure that I'm going to make it. Could you maybe take me to the bus stop in town?" This random stranger says to my friend, "Actually I can take you all the way to your interview. Hop in." This stranger explains to my friend that God told him to stop. He was the guy that had honked a mile back. God told him to ask my friend if he needed anything. This stranger talked me my friend about Jesus... he didn't PREACH about Jesus, he just talked nonchalantly. This stranger encouraged my friend. And my friend was deeply touched, because a random man was completely obedient to God. This stranger's act of kindness and his words were EXACTLY what my friend needed, and God knew that.

This friend came over a few days ago and shared his heart with me and that story. He said that when the bus passed by, such an anger stirred up in his heart and he got so angry at God... he told God that he was truly TRYING to turn his life around and now his chance at a job was lost when that bus drove by. But God, with his perfect knowledge, decided to bless this random stranger and my dear friend. This simple act of kindness was exactly what my friend needed to give him some hope... hope in God, and hope in the humanity of others. These were my friend's exact words, "Kristen, it was like he was an angel. He was my angel God sent to help me." He then went on to tell me that he is truly making an effort to break free from this addiction. He told me that one day he wants to see God use him to minister to other people struggling with addiction. I'm trusting God to see that happen. I believe that my God is bigger than any addiction.

How often are we obedient to God when He asks us to do things that do not make sense? How often do we ignore God when he tells us to show love to others. I've posted before about showing the love of Christ, and that's exactly what that stranger did. I bet my friend will remember that man for a long, long time to come. What a good reflection of Jesus! So I want to truly encourage you to be obedient to however God tells you to love someone (even if that "someone" is a stranger walking along the side of the road). Be attentive and obedient to God.

So, who ever you are, you stranger in a brown dodge... THANK YOU. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have no idea the impact that you've made. Thank you so much for your obedience. God bless you. Seriously.

Oh, and by the way, my friend DID get the job! God's so rad.

25 Honest and Bizarre Things about Me

1) When I was a kid I wanted a pet monkey so terribly bad. I would pray that my parents would buy me one. Every Christmas, I'd wonder where the box with my monkey was. I knew it had to be somewhere and they were just hiding it from me.

2) If I could do anything, I'd throw some essentials into backpack and travel the world. I'd absolutely never settle down... I'd never own a house or a car or do the "normal" stuff. I would roam around finding beauty in every little nook and cranny of the world.

3) Facebook is the only way I stay in contact with all of my friends from all over the globe, but I admit that I spend more time than necessary on it. I love it and hate it all at the same time.

4) I peed my pants in 3rd grade. Actually it was a dress. I told my teacher I had to go to the bathroom but she wouldn't let me so... it just happened.

5) I cheated for the first time in 2nd grade on a vocab quiz. I haven't ever told anyone that. The cheating got worse and I ended up cheating my way through high school. I think I only read one "required" book in high school. For some reason people just let me copy off of them...

6) I seriously love art. I could spend days wandering around an art museum. Art just captivates me. I am really pushing myself to tap back into my creativity. I especially love photography. I'd love to take classes and get more serious about photography.

7) Writing and music are my two escapes. I write all kinds of crazy nonsense. If anyone ever read my journal I'd be mortified. My whole life I've hidden my journal. Literally hidden it... like in a hiding space in my room. It's probably the only place that I express exactly how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. I write my prayers to God in it and I write His responses. It's where I confess anything and everything. (Now do you see why I hide it?) And music has the power to calm and excite me at the same time. I love researching new artists and finding rad new bands.

8) When I was 17 I got a ticket for not wearing a seat belt. I tried to argue with the officer that wearing a seat belt was optional. I honestly didn't know it was a LAW that you had to buckle up. Click it or ticket, right? (I secretly hate when people say that)

9) I have a love/hate relationship with the south. South Carolina is beautiful and the mountains are stunning, HOWEVER, I'm just not a "southern girl". I do love southern food and the casualness of the south. I'm really not a fan of the southern accent. I've lived in South Carolina for 11 years and I've been fighting that accent all 11 of those years. I can usually manage to suppress it. For the past 11 years I've felt a bit of an identity crisis living in the south and I've known for years that I just don't belong here.

10) Up until recently, I've always had closer guy friends than girl friends. I always seemed to click better with boys. They were just so chill and so much less vain. They didn't gossip, they weren't fake, and there was always so much less drama. I've been learning how to be friends with girls. And let me tell you, now that I'm outta high school, I've realized that girls aren't so bad after all.

11) I'm extremely open. There's not too much that I won't tell you about myself if you ask. I like digging deep into the issues that most Christians are afraid to touch because they might get a little dirt on their hands.

12) I do not understand God. I never will. I understand THINGS about God, but trust me... I DO NOT understand Him. But I'm okay with that. I'll never "get" Him. He's just too massive for that. My brain cannot even begin to comprehend His love and grace. He's mysterious, quirky, funny and absolutely beautiful. I adore Him.

13) I'm scared to death of heights. I will never bungee jump or sky dive, even though I wonder what it would feel like. Someone would have to drug me for that to ever happen.

14) I broke my foot in South Africa. I was running in my yard like a lunatic and the rain had washed away a lip in the grass right where it connected with the pavement of the driveway. So as I was running, I kicked the pavement and then twisted my ankle and fell. I had to crawl around to my front door and then crawl up the front stairs. I was laughing and crying at the same time. My foot turned black and blue for more than a month... possibly because I tried to walk on it like everything was normal.

15) I have 6 piercings and 1 tattoo. My mother pierced my ears when I was 2 months old because everyone kept calling me a boy. I got my second hole pierced when I was in 8th grade. Nose pierced in 2006 and lip pierced in 2008. I pierced my belly button in high school but was terrified that my dad would kill me so I took it out soon after (surprise Mom and Dad!). I got my tattoo a week after my 18th birthday in October 2004. More tattoos to come...

16) I have sleep issues. Most nights I force myself to go to bed around 3 am. I just don't get tired before that. Also I seem to not be able to turn my brain off... I just lay there and think rather than sleep.

17) I'm passionate about human rights. Like really passionate... don't ask me questions about it unless you want me to talk your ear off. I want a career that has something to do with human rights.

18) The whole marriage and starting a family thing terrify me. I'm happy with my little darling Mia who's 3 now. The two of us make a fantastic team. She's all I need. For me, life's easier without a boyfriend. (However, if I'm being 100% honest, my biggest reason for not wanting a romantic relationship is fear. Fear of heartbreak. Fear of disappointment. Fear of being abandoned. Fear of failure.)

19) I really do love who I've become over the past 22 years. I love standing out and being different. I honestly don't want to be like "everyone else". I want to be Kristen... no one else. It's taken me years and years to get to this point.

20) I am not a romantic girl. Don't take me out on a fancy date with flowers and candles and all that jazz, just take me to a chill coffee shop where there's a live band and where we can talk.

21) One 4th of July, when I was 7, some kid hooked me in the lip with a fishing hook and I had to be rushed to the hospital to get it removed. I still have a scar.

22) I bite my nails and the skin around my nails. I've done it for as long as I can remember. Drives most people nuts, especially my mom. The moment I'm bored, or stressed or nervous, my hands fly straight to my mouth.

23) I love physical quirks. Freckles, moles, birthmarks, gaps in teeth, scars, stretchmarks... there are few things more beautiful to me than a body with stories to tell.

24) I cry. Often, and a lot. Books, articles, commercials, photos, TV, movies. I feel things deeply. Sometimes I think I feel them too deeply, but I don't think I would change it even if I could. I like that part of me.

25) I love tape and stickers. If there's anything around me with some sort of sticker I can peel off and play with, I will. Buy me a roll of Scotch tape and I'll be happy for a long time. I love the way it feels for some weird reason.

My Interpretation of "The Stand"

I'm gonna pick this song apart and share some thoughts with you. I'm so sorry that this turned out so long... This is by far one of my favorite songs. These lyrics are beautiful. It's song #8 on my play list.

Hillsong United
"The Stand"

You stood before creation
Eternity in your hand
And you spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand
You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart oh God
Completely to you

So I walk upon salvation
Your spirit alive in me
This life to declare your promise
My soul now to stand

So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
So I'll stand
My soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours



"You stood before creation
Eternity in your hand
And you spoke the earth into motion"

Dude, God is huge. I just close my eyes and try to imagine MY God creating the universe by SPEAKING it into existence. MY God is the creator of the universe. The crazy thing is that even before creation, MY God was there. (Now that's a strange thought, isn't it??)


"You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon your shoulders"

MY Jesus, who took upon MY failures, and the failures of the entire world and nailed to them to the cross. I wonder if we realize what that actually looks like and what that actually meant and what that must have actually felt like to Christ. MY Jesus took every single sin of every single person upon HIMSELF. I no longer have to be ashamed of my sinful past because it's done. Jesus paid the price already. (A friend shared the following with me and I thought it was beautiful and I couldn't have put it better myself):

God became His broken creation. He humbled Himself as Jesus, and Jesus humbled himself to washing the feet of sinners. How beautiful is that? We will never understand His love for us, but the mystery of it is the most beautiful thing in the world (I think the mystery makes it that much more beautiful)


"So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart oh God
Completely to you"

This should be our response to God. This is how I try, and WANT to respond to Him every day. But what does it look like to offer EVERY part of you to God... COMPLETELY? That sounds dangerous... it sounds exciting... it sounds scary... it sounds impossible... And it is hard to follow Him completely. It's not easy (and anyone who says it is is a liar) because the Bible says that what the flesh wants is opposed to the spirit. (Galatians ^{5:16 & 17 -} If you are guided by the Spirit, you won't obey your selfish desires. The Spirit and your desires are enemies of each other. They are always fighting each other and keeping you from doing what you feel you should.) So of course we don't FEEL like being completely submitted to God 24 hours a day, because that sinful nature inside of us wants to go against the Spirit.


"So I walk upon salvation
Your spirit alive in me
This life to declare your promise"

So, MY God is the Creator of the universe, and the Savior of the world... but there's more... By excepting HIS salvation and LIFE, I get to receive HIS Spirit. His Spirit is in ME. (I find this verse astounding):

Romans 8:11 The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you.

Back to the song again. The last line here is key. Don't miss this... it reminds me that Christianity isn't just an "internal" thing. Following Jesus means more than praying before meals and having a quiet time... it's also about DECLARING. It's about sharing with others what God's done in your life. Do we do that often enough? Unfortunately I don't think so. It might be "uncomfortable" or "awkward", right...?

Mark 8:38- Don't be ashamed of me and my message among these unfaithful and sinful people! If you are, the Son of Man will be ashamed of you when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.

Um... so, basically, evangelism isn't a negotiable thing. Are you a follower of Christ? Then tell others about what Jesus has done in your life. If you find that "uncomfortable", I'd ask myself why. (NOTE: Understand that I'm preaching to myself. Forcing myself to step out of my "fleshly comfort zone" is HARD work. I don't want it to be hard; I want it to come naturally and that's something I've been working on.)


Speaking of preaching, I think that's what I'm now doing so I'm stopping myself. I think it runs in the family... ;)

Heart for South Africa.

I'm writing a paper about South Africa (facts on the country as well as what I experienced). While I was typing it up, some things were so heavy on my heart that I felt like I should share them with you. So, this post is dedicated to a country that's near and dear to my heart... South Africa.

There are many strongholds in South Africa. I believe that one of the reason for this is because the enemy sees the potential of the South African people and he's terrified. Satan is a liar, and a manipulator. Rape and HIV/AIDS are just a couple strongholds that are holding back South Africans. I hate to just mention negative things in this post, because there are wonderful things going on too, but these statistics are not just statistics to South Africans, this is their reality. Please fight the urge get sad and feel discouraged by this post... I pray that instead of feeling sorry for them, you'd get angry at what Satan is doing to them. Ask God for HIS heart for South Africa. Please be praying for this country.

Ephesians 10:12- "We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world." (Contemporary English Version)


HIV/AIDS.

South Africa is currently experiencing one of the most severe AIDS epidemics in the world. At the end of 2007, there were approximately 5.7 million people living with HIV in South Africa, and almost 1,000 AIDS deaths occurring every day.

The median income for Blacks and mixed race can be as low as $300/year, and the cost for AIDS drugs average $40 to $50 per month, clearly out of reach for a large majority of the population.

Almost 25% of all South African children under age 15 had lost at least one parent to AIDS. (in 2005)

In 2005, there were 240, 000 children living with HIV in South Africa and as a result of the disease, there were 1, 200, 000 AIDS orphans.



Rape.

"It is a fact that a woman born in South Africa has a greater chance of being raped, than learning how to read." If that statement doesn't break the heart of God, then I don't know what does.


Rape, including child rape, is increasing at shocking rates in South Africa. Sexual violence against children, including the raping of infants, has increased 400% over the past decade.

The raping of infants and/or children may also be due to the belief that sex with a child or baby will cure AIDS. A number of high profile baby rapes since 2001 (including the fact that they required extensive reconstructive surgery to rebuild urinary, genital, abdominal, or tracheal systems) increased the need to address the problem socially and legally. In 2001, a 9-month-old baby was raped by six men, aged between 24 and 66, after the infant had been left unattended by her teenage mother. A 4-year-old girl died after being raped by her father. A 14-month-old girl was raped by her two uncles. In February 2002, an 8-month-old infant was reportedly gang raped by four men. One has been charged (McGreal, 2001). The infant has required extensive reconstructive surgery. The 8-month-old infant's injuries were so extensive, increased attention on prosecution has occurred.

Various cultural beliefs in South Africa regarding rape hinder the problem of decreasing and reporting rape. It is difficult to impossible for a woman to say no to sex. Many girls and women believe that if they know the boy or it is a boyfriend who rapes them, they cannot say no to sex, even forcible sex. Many men believe they are entitled to sex or even believe that women enjoy being raped.

Isaiah 58:6-I'll tell you what it really means to worship the LORD. Remove the chains of prisoners who are chained unjustly. Free those who are abused!

Psalm 140:12- Our LORD, I know that you defend the homeless and see that the poor are given justice.

contentment. babies. bear grylls.

Alright...

Right now, I'm learning to be content. I'm learning to thank God for where He has brought me NOW... today. But that doesn't mean that I need to be sitting on my bum waiting for something to fall out of the sky for my next "step" in life. I dunno... I've been praying and applying and although I have more of a sense of peace in my heart, not much physically has changed. I still have no definite options. I still have no green light. I still have no clear direction. But I'm grateful for today. I'm grateful that I have this time with my family and friends because I'll never get THIS time back. I'm learning more and more about what it means to trust God to provide for me and give me clarity. I think I've been focusing too much on the negative things and not enough on the positive.

ALSO, I'm learning about forgiveness. Something somewhat mortifying happened to me this week. I felt really responsible for the painful ending of a relationship and I felt like I owed this person an apology and a slight explanation. Am I the only person in the world that finds saying the words "I'm sorry" excruciating?? Man, that's the pride in me. It's so hard for me to admit when I'm wrong and apologize... but I DID IT! And I feel so much better. Although I felt embarrassed and a little lame for having to do it, I feel a lot more relief now. I feel like I can finally get closure from that chapter in my life.

It seems like everyone I know is having babies or getting married. Is it something in the air?? I sure hope not... :) I can't believe it. But it seems like that's how it usually goes. When one person gets pregnant, EVERYONE else does too.

My grandparents are here for the day. They're heading back home (Virginia) from Florida. They got here late last night and are leaving early tomorrow morning. It's good to see them though.



Alright, let's talk music....

I have a literal obsession with City and Colour thanks to my friend Nick. Dallas Green is the lead singer and he's a GENIUS! Check them out... I actually have a few songs on my little music player thingy. Check out songs # 4, 23, 33, 58, 59 and 66. You won't be disappointed and if you are... then you have no taste in music. (KIDDING!)



Now movies....

Well I saw "He's just not that into you" with my small group girls on Friday. I really liked it. Parts were slightly depressing... but an overall good movie.

Also, I saw the movie "Taken" like 3 months ago while in South Africa and really liked it... now I saw a preview for it and realized that it just came out here! Weird. Good movie.



And finally TV Shows...

I'm 100% in love with Man vs Wild! Bear Grylls... there are no words... what a beautiful man. haha. Anyway, YES!... I totally have a crush on a man who eats bugs and drinks blood as his career. Go figure.

I haven't missed one episode of "The Bachelor" this season either. A little embarrassing to admit, but I really like that show! My favorite girl is Melissa. Hope she wins.

Spring Cleaning of the Heart

"Fire Fall Down" -Hillsong United

You bought my life with the
Blood that You shed on the cross
When You died for the sins of men
And You let out a cry
Crucified now alive in me

These hands are Yours
Teach them to serve as You please
And I'll reach out desperate to see
All the greatness of God
May my soul rest assured in You

I'll never be the same
No I'll never be the same

Cause I know that You're alive
You came to fix my broken life
And I'll sing to glorify
Your Holy Name
Jesus Christ

You changed it all
You broke down the wall
When I spoke and confessed
In You I'm blessed
Now I walk in the light
In victorious sight of You

Your fire fall down
Fall down
On us we pray
As we seek

Show me Your heart
Show me Your way
Show me Your glory

I had an enlightening conversation with Christina earlier. She's my voice of reason most of the time. She has a way of giving me a reality check and pushing me to discover truth for myself. I love her dearly. So, Christina thank you for our talks.

Oh and also wanna give my dad some well deserved recognition for his incredible message today. I am so proud of you Daddy. I really am. There's no way I could ever have the strength and guts to do what you do. You're incredible. (Check out some of his messages... http://foothillscc.org/archives.htm)


"Lead Me to the Cross" -Hillsong United

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and tried
Human
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart

God's doing some intense spring cleaning in my heart right now
...and it's really painful...
but I know it's necessary.

Total Randomness.

Yay! I finally am posting pictures from our vacation
in Florida! Mia looks so OLD! I cannot believe she'll be 3 in less than 3 weeks.

I went to bed Tuesday night feeling really nauseous. Throwing up is a huge fear for me... I remember as a kid throwing up and being unable to catch my breath and feeling like I was going to choke to death on my own vomit. (gross, I know...) So anytime I get nauseous, I get a little panicky. I woke up at around 6 am in a fluster and ran to the bathroom. Sure enough, I have this dumb stomach virus that Mia had. So I spent a lovely 30 minutes in the bathroom vomiting repeatedly. Most of my day yesterday was spent feeling gross and laying on the couch with Mia while she watched Sponge Bob. Even as I type this I still feel a little nauseous but much better than earlier. And because I was sick, I had to miss out on Bible study. Bleh...

Here's something exciting... my students had their graduation today! I'm so proud of all of them. It was hard because I wasn't there to celebrate with them and hug them goodbye one last time. I feel privileged to meet each one of them, and in some way or another, each one of them has had an impact of my life. I'm so grateful for the experience.

Tomorrow all the girls in my Bible study are going to see a movie and then having a sleep over! I'm really excited. It's gonna be so nice to have some quality girl time.


The other day, I was trying to get some cute pictures of Mia. But every time I took a picture of her, she would close here eyes. Finally, after about 20 pictures, I said "Mia, baby, please can you open your eyes?" She goes "Ohhh sorry Mommy!" Then she did this.... And she really wasn't trying to be funny, she was just trying to figure out how to keep her eyes open in the picture. I have dozens of these.... haha

I just realized how utterly random this post is... but whatever.

Less___ , More___

less whining, more thanking
less selfishness, more selflessness
less discouragement, more encouragement
less timidness, more boldness
less attitude, more kindness
less judgment, more love
less passivity, more passion
less anger, more peace
less fake, more genuine
less lies, more truths
less envy, more gratefulness
less disdain, more respect
less intolerance, more patience
less apathy, more willingness
less talk, more action
less profane, more sacred
less unforgiveness, more grace
less injustice, more equality
less doubt, more faith
less rebellion, more obedience
less corruption, more innocence
less arguing, more agreeing
less self-indulgence, more self-control


This week, I'm obsessing over....

movies:
"Slumdog Millionaire". Incredible movie. Go watch it. Forreal.

music:
"Volcano" -Damien Rice
"Sideways" -Citizen Cope
"More Than Life" -Hillsong United
"Wedding Dress" -Derek Webb

scripture:
I'm clinging onto....
"Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you." James 4:8
"Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel" Philippians 4:6-7

fear of birds and more...

I'm a slacker! I cannot believe how this week has slipped by. I so upset that I've waited until now to write a blog, but it is what it is.

So we made it home this past Monday after a short one and a half hour plane ride. I will say however, that I was so stinking scared to fly with all this bird drama. I was just picturing myself crashing to my death because of some birds. It was the first time I've been anxious about flying... ever. But I obviously survived. Thank God.

On Friday, Mia and I spent the day in Greenville with a good friend of mine and her little baby boy. Mia was fascinated with the baby. It was nice to go and do a little shopping (unfortunately it was kind of unsuccessful for me) and enjoy some killer Mexican food at Don Pablo's.

Our family celebrated my brother, Rick's 29th birthday on Friday night. His birthday was actually yesterday though. We had dinner at Copper River ALL TOGETHER, which was pretty cool. It's not often that we're all together.

On a grosser note, Mia was throwing up all throughout the night. Vomit is the hardest thing for me to deal with. It makes me nauseous to think about it let alone clean it up. However last night was kind of different. Although it sucked cleaning it up all 10 times she threw up, my heart went out to her. It sucks to be sick. She was so pitiful. We just kept praying together and cuddling. To my surprise she was upset and a little emotional and angry at the fact that she threw up on her pj's. Poor thing. She's still throwing up today.

This week I've been looking at colleges and missions organizations and putting in some applications. I feel good about one in particular but I don't want to give details about anything until I get more clarity and hear back about my applications. Just please be praying that this next step works out how it's supposed to.

the end of a great vacation

Well, my fabulous time in Florida is coming to an end. I leave on Monday afternoon. I'm so grateful for such an amazing family. My grandparents are really great people. They have incredibly generous hearts and I absolutely love them to death. The past two weeks have been such a great time of reconnecting for us. It's been so wonderful.


So, that means come Monday, it's back to real life for me. Honestly I'm excited though. I'm SO ready to get on with whatever God has in store for me next. I feel like I'm ready to get the next phase in my life started. Unfortunately I'm not sure what that looks like yet, but there's been a bit of clarity and a light at the end of the tunnel... I think. ;)


At the moment I'm completely obsessed with the song "Whatever You're Doing" by Sanctus Real. The lyrics are so powerful....


"Whatever You're Doing" -Sanctus Real

It's time for healing. Time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what's been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
If feels like chaos but now
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

It's time to fix up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

Relationships.

Thank God for relationships. I have some amazing friends that I'm eternally grateful for. Unfortunately they're spread out all over the world, which is why I'm so thankful for cell phones, facebook and skype which keeps us linked together.

So, what is it in us that's so desperate for relationships? Why do we crave fellowship?

Let's take a look at Genesis and see what God has to say about relationships. Let's start with Adam and his relationship with God before the fall. God creates Adam and says it's good; very good to be precise (Genesis 1:31). So God and Adam have this perfect, harmonious relationship. Man and God are in PERFECT relationship. No sin. It's just Adam and God. But then God says something that literally astounds me. Check Genesis 2:18: The LORD God said, "It isn't good for the man to live alone". Listen to what God's saying! He's saying that the relationship they have isn't enough. Even in unblemished relationship with God, there was something lacking. It's like God is saying to Adam, "Listen, I've created you for relationships. I've created you with a vacancy that only another human being call fill". God was essentially saying that He wasn't enough. Wow. Almost sounds like I'm not supposed to be saying that. But it's true! God wanted more for Adam. He wanted him to have relationships with other human beings. God created us with this innate desire for relationship. It's his design for us and it's absolutely beautiful.

Which makes me wonder this: Is it right to spend 100 hours a week with your face in your Bible and devote nothing to relationships with others? Is that spiritual? Is that what God intended for us? Because I think he wants us to be pouring into each other, being completely sincere and accountable to each other. I think he wants us to befriend people society would normally overlook; to show compassion and love in every relationship. PLEASE do not get me wrong. I'm not saying that quiet times and reading your Bible are unimportant. I just think it's a combined effort. Can't have Jesus and lack relationships with others, yet can't have relationships with others and lack Jesus. Both are extremely important. Treasure Jesus, treasure relationships.

to do list for '09

Okay so I know it's well past January 1st, but I've been doing some thinking. I made a list of things that I want to do in 2009. I don't know that I'd call these things my "resolutions" though... just things that I really want to do. Here goes:

1) put more effort into really connecting with old friends
2) bake more
3) blog more
4) start collecting something
5) spend more QUALITY time with Jesus
6) read through the gospels at least 5 more times, wrestling with the text and APPLYING it.
7) put myself out there more; meet new people
8) listen to some new bands
9) start to learn a new language
10) spend more quality time with family
11) travel
12) watch less tv
13) read more
14) do at least two random acts of kindness every day
15) every day, tell someone that i love them
16) be more encouraging
17) get to bed earlier
18) go through my closet and get rid of everything I haven't worn in the past month
19) live with less
20) bless others more
21) be more consistent... especially with intercession
22) grow my hair out then donate it (always wanted to do that, never have)
23) spend less money
24) experience at least one other culture
25) get another tattoo
26) return to Africa
27) try different foods
28) worry less about what people think
29) keep it simple
30) take more pictures
31) watch more sunsets and sunrises
32) laugh more
33) try to see the beauty in everything
34) watch the news/ read the newspaper more
35) serve people
36) talk less- do more
37) volunteer more
38) close my mouth and open my ears and heart
39) be a shoulder to cry on
40) love more... completely uninhibited
41) get more sleep
42) hug someone every day (other than Mia)

He fulfills promises

We spend our lives trying to make sense of God... trying to understand Him. He moves in completely unexpected and unpredictable ways. I mean look at Abraham. God made a covenant with Abraham. He made a promise that He would bless Abraham and that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars in the sky and that they would be a great nation. I can picture Abraham: full of hope and faith; knowing that His God was a God who fulfilled promises. But then the unexpected happened... God was silent. Things didn't quickly fall into place like Abraham thought they would. God didn't move immediately. Instead, all Abraham was left with was a barren, contemptuous wife and a pitch black sky filled with millions of radiant stars which represented this seemingly impossible covenant.



But, in His own timing, in His own way... God moved. He fulfilled this incredible promise.



Wait... so what is a covenant? It's a one-way agreement where the covenanter (God) is the only party bound by the promise. Consequentially, the only party that can break a covenant is the covenanter. Did you catch that? God made this covenant with Abraham which meant that this was set in stone... done. no Indian giving. This promise could NOT be taken back. Amazing! YET... because of the unpredictability of the Lord and the way He chooses to move, Abraham ended up doubting God and He and Sarah tried to take matters into their own hands, resulting in a huge fiasco.

The same lessons apply for us today. It all begins with faith. Genesis 15:6 says that Abraham's faith was accounted to his as righteousness. But Abraham's downfall was his impatience. He wanted to see immediate results. He didn't want to wait. And when God didn't act instantaneously, Abraham decided He'd help God out. Also, God defies all odds. What is impossible with man is possible with God. There is nothing too big or too small for God.





Isaiah 55:8 & 9...

8The LORD says:
"My thoughts and my ways
are not like yours.
9Just as the heavens
are higher than the earth,
my thoughts and my ways
are higher than yours.

beautiful feet

So here are a few quotes and things that I've been thinking about lately...


"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe."

“Grace isn't a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It's a way to live.”

"But in the brief time since Jesus went back to heaven, His invitation has morphed into something less. Much less. We've turned "go" and "spread" into complicated programs best left to missionaries and preachers. We've reduced "all the world" and "all creation" to just folks who walk through the front door at church, and we've shrunk the Good News to a shoft list of words that will save a soul from Hell. Isn't there more?!" -McKinley

Romans 10:13-15 (New Century Version)
13 as the Scripture says, "Anyone who calls on the Lord will be saved."
14 But before people can ask the Lord for help, they must believe in him; and before they can believe in him, they must hear about him; and for them to hear about the Lord, someone must tell them;15 and before someone can go and tell them, that person must be sent. It is written, "How beautiful is the person who comes to bring good news."

"Solution" -Hillsong:

It is not a human right

To stare not fight

While broken nations dream

Open up our eyes, so blind

That we might find

The Mercy for the need



Singing, Hey now

Fill our hearts with your compassion

Hey now

As we hold to our confession

Yeah



It is not too far a cry

To much to try

To help the least of these

Politics will not decide

If we should rise

And be your hands and feet



Singing, Hey now

Fill our hearts with your compassion

Hey Now

As we hold to our confession



Woah-oh-oh,

God be the solution

Woah-oh-oh

We will be Your hands and be Your feet.

Yeah, yeah



Higher than a circumstance

Your promise stands

Your love for all to see

Higher than protest line and dollar signs

Your love is all we need



Only You can mend the broken heart

And cause the blind to see

Erase complete the sinners past

And set the captives free

Only You can take the widows cry

And cause her heart to sing

Be a Father to the fatherless

Our Savior and our King

We will be Your hands, we will be Your feet

We will run this race

On the darkest place, we will be Your light

We will be Your light



We will be Your hands , we will be Your feet

We will run this race for the least of these

In the darkest place, we will be your light

We will be your light

We'll sing



Woah-oh-oh,

God be the solution

Woah-oh-oh

We will be Your hands and be Your feet.



Woah-oh-oh,

God be the solution

Woah-oh-ohWe will be Your hands and be Your feet.

Yeah, yeah



We will run we will run

We will run with the solution [2x]



We will be Your hands we will be Your feet

We will run this race for the least of these

In the darkest place we will be Your light

We will be Your light

We sing

I'm in Florida!

I'm in Florida! Mia did seriously awesome in the car on the way here. She had a lot of fun sleeping at the hotel. She was excited to be sleeping somewhere new. She really impressed me. She loves that movie "Mamma Mia", so we listened to the soundtrack at least 5 times. But the trip was surprisingly easy and fast.

I'm LOVING the weather here. Upper 70's. Today we went to the beach for an hour or so. Mia had fun collecting shells and digging in the sand. She didn't want anything to do with the water though... too cold.

Anyway, I'll write a longer post hopefully tomorrow. Hope you had a great weekend!

some pet peeves....

Okay so I've been home for a month. That's totally insane. It feels like I just got home yesterday. I miss you, South Africa.

So anyway, I'll be leaving for Florida in around 6 hours from now. I'm so glad that I came to Virginia and got to see all of my family here and now I'm really excited to go get warm in Florida and see my other set of grandparents. The trip is 17 hours so we'll be stopping at a hotel tomorrow night. Am I the only person that seriously enjoys staying in hotels? I really like it... makes me feel like a kid again. Hopefully Mia will be an ANGEL in the car tomorrow and Saturday. She usually does great in the car. Plus its a thousand times better than being squished in a hot bus for 21+ hours... (been there, done that). However, she's really not used to the whole car seat thing. A year without a car seat and now she has to be restrained in a car seat. haha. Too bad. Safety first right?

This is the most random post... So since it's almost 12:30 am and I'm bored and cannot sleep, here's a list of things that annoy me/ things that suck:

1.) When my jeans drag on the ground after it rains.

2.) When people leave a drop of milk/juice in the jug. Just finish it and THROW IT AWAY.

3.) unanswered texts.

4.) lingering hugs.

5.) disgusting, massive, flying cockroaches.

6.) when you're trying to have a conversation with someone and they're looking around/ texting.

7.) licorice.

8.) annoying people who talk too much when you're trying to fall asleep on the plane.

9.) small talk.

10.) overpriced stuff.

11.) apathetic people.

12.) not being able to fall asleep but being REALLY tired.

13.) spam.

14.) getting a splinter.

15.) when old people try to act like teenagers.

16.) automatic flushing toilets.

17.) people who do not replace a roll of toilet paper when they finish it up, then you realize that there's no toilet paper... when it's too late.

18.) telemarketers.

19.) not remembering your dream from the night before.

20.) misplacing my cell phone.

21.) dumb commercials... specifically heath care commercials.

22.) know it alls.

23.) legalism.

24.) cold jeans.

25.) getting butter/greasy nastiness on the top of your hand when reaching into a bag of popcorn. yucky.

26.) obnoxious people who talk REALLY loud on their cell phones in public.

27.) when people say "I'm on my way. I'll be there in 2 minutes", and half an hour later you're STILL waiting. (ahem...)

28.) Those chain letters that say "if you're really a Christian you'll pass this onto 10 other people" asseblief. Go away.

29.) awkward goodbyes... not knowing whether or not to hug someone or shake hands or none of the above.

30.) Pee on the toilet seat. gross.

31.) creepy old men.

32.) people who're completely obsessed with celebrities.

33.) sports channels/ sports news.

34.) when people feel the need to pick their nose right in front of me. and by people, I mean ADULTS. please please stop it.

35.) over drafting.

36.) watery eyes from cutting onions.

37.) when you use bleach and your hands smell like bleach for like 2 weeks straight.

38.) when you squeeze a lemon and completely forget that you have a cut on your hand. Oh the pain!

39.) not taking enough pictures on vacation and getting home and realizing it.

40.) WhEn PeOpLe TyPe LiKe ThIs!

41.) taking a big sip of milk and realizing it's already spoiled.

42.) when people "forget" about the messes they've made... such as leaving leftover dinner in the oven for at least 2 weeks and having living creatures residing in it. thank you whoever did that. I'll never forget that incident. disgusting.

43.) Hearing "MOMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" and banging on the bathroom door when trying to have 2 seconds of alone time to pee. ( :) oh the joys of motherhood!)

44.) touching nail polish that hasn't dried yet and smearing it everywhere.

45.) a stain on your favorite shirt.

46.) people who pick at their feet/ toe nails in front of me. please... don't.

47.) google ads. "free ipod" etc. riiiiiiight... nothing's FREE

48.) an unflushed public toilet. how hard is it to just flush??

49.) the Tyra Banks show. worst show in the history of the world...

50.) mosquitoes.

51.) people who can't take a joke.

52.) delayed flights.


Hmm... that felt really good. Glad to get that off my chest. What annoys you? Did I leave something out? ;) Goodnight!