Raw Christianity

Okay. I have been really struggling with what to write about. I have so many different random thoughts going through my mind. Let me try to pull them together and see how things goes...

I went to FCA the other night, and the guy spoke about alcohol. First let me say that it was the most biblical sermon I have ever heard about alcohol and I enjoyed it, but this post is not about alcohol. He talked about sins that go along w/ alcohol. Judgment. Foolishness. Drunkenness. But here's what touched my heart. At the end of the whole thing, he said a prayer and in a half lit room, with hundreds of college kids and he said this: "If you're here and you've struggled with acting foolish because of alcohol will you stand and I'll pray for you". People stood. He prayed. Then he said, "if you're in this room and you've struggled with judgment because of alcohol. Maybe you choose to drink and you've judged people who choose not to. Or maybe you choose not to drink and judge those who do. Regardless, stand up and I'm going to pray for you". And TONS of people stood up. I looked to my right and saw a couple of men crying. As I watched their tears flow, I could feel their heart felt repentance. That act of complete humility brought me to tears. I wept with them and thanked God for allowing me to see humility.

So I've been thinking about that for about a week now. And I've been asking myself if I am moved to tears over my sins. Am I repentant? Do I possess that kind of humility? Am I willing to be completely open and vulnerable about my struggles?

What's the difference in my struggles and yours? What's so different about my anger and pride struggles and an alcoholic's struggles? What's the difference in a problem with gossip and a problem with drug addiction? What's so hard to believe about a follower of Christ struggling with addiction? Is that unbelievable? We try to minimize our sin and point out others so maybe people wont see ours. Is it possible for a drug addict to get radically saved yet still have "side effects"? I think so. It takes years to build up addictions and when people aren't 100% changed overnight, we persecute them. And I'm asking how judgment is any less of a sin than getting high? (Understand that I'm not condoning sin, I just don't see why Christians place addiction as a sin that's above all others. Sin is sin. Period.)

I'm so stuck on the rawness right now. I'm asking God to allow me to see that kind of honesty and I'm getting it. It's a beautiful thing.