the end of a great vacation

Well, my fabulous time in Florida is coming to an end. I leave on Monday afternoon. I'm so grateful for such an amazing family. My grandparents are really great people. They have incredibly generous hearts and I absolutely love them to death. The past two weeks have been such a great time of reconnecting for us. It's been so wonderful.


So, that means come Monday, it's back to real life for me. Honestly I'm excited though. I'm SO ready to get on with whatever God has in store for me next. I feel like I'm ready to get the next phase in my life started. Unfortunately I'm not sure what that looks like yet, but there's been a bit of clarity and a light at the end of the tunnel... I think. ;)


At the moment I'm completely obsessed with the song "Whatever You're Doing" by Sanctus Real. The lyrics are so powerful....


"Whatever You're Doing" -Sanctus Real

It's time for healing. Time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what's been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
If feels like chaos but now
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

It's time to fix up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

Relationships.

Thank God for relationships. I have some amazing friends that I'm eternally grateful for. Unfortunately they're spread out all over the world, which is why I'm so thankful for cell phones, facebook and skype which keeps us linked together.

So, what is it in us that's so desperate for relationships? Why do we crave fellowship?

Let's take a look at Genesis and see what God has to say about relationships. Let's start with Adam and his relationship with God before the fall. God creates Adam and says it's good; very good to be precise (Genesis 1:31). So God and Adam have this perfect, harmonious relationship. Man and God are in PERFECT relationship. No sin. It's just Adam and God. But then God says something that literally astounds me. Check Genesis 2:18: The LORD God said, "It isn't good for the man to live alone". Listen to what God's saying! He's saying that the relationship they have isn't enough. Even in unblemished relationship with God, there was something lacking. It's like God is saying to Adam, "Listen, I've created you for relationships. I've created you with a vacancy that only another human being call fill". God was essentially saying that He wasn't enough. Wow. Almost sounds like I'm not supposed to be saying that. But it's true! God wanted more for Adam. He wanted him to have relationships with other human beings. God created us with this innate desire for relationship. It's his design for us and it's absolutely beautiful.

Which makes me wonder this: Is it right to spend 100 hours a week with your face in your Bible and devote nothing to relationships with others? Is that spiritual? Is that what God intended for us? Because I think he wants us to be pouring into each other, being completely sincere and accountable to each other. I think he wants us to befriend people society would normally overlook; to show compassion and love in every relationship. PLEASE do not get me wrong. I'm not saying that quiet times and reading your Bible are unimportant. I just think it's a combined effort. Can't have Jesus and lack relationships with others, yet can't have relationships with others and lack Jesus. Both are extremely important. Treasure Jesus, treasure relationships.

to do list for '09

Okay so I know it's well past January 1st, but I've been doing some thinking. I made a list of things that I want to do in 2009. I don't know that I'd call these things my "resolutions" though... just things that I really want to do. Here goes:

1) put more effort into really connecting with old friends
2) bake more
3) blog more
4) start collecting something
5) spend more QUALITY time with Jesus
6) read through the gospels at least 5 more times, wrestling with the text and APPLYING it.
7) put myself out there more; meet new people
8) listen to some new bands
9) start to learn a new language
10) spend more quality time with family
11) travel
12) watch less tv
13) read more
14) do at least two random acts of kindness every day
15) every day, tell someone that i love them
16) be more encouraging
17) get to bed earlier
18) go through my closet and get rid of everything I haven't worn in the past month
19) live with less
20) bless others more
21) be more consistent... especially with intercession
22) grow my hair out then donate it (always wanted to do that, never have)
23) spend less money
24) experience at least one other culture
25) get another tattoo
26) return to Africa
27) try different foods
28) worry less about what people think
29) keep it simple
30) take more pictures
31) watch more sunsets and sunrises
32) laugh more
33) try to see the beauty in everything
34) watch the news/ read the newspaper more
35) serve people
36) talk less- do more
37) volunteer more
38) close my mouth and open my ears and heart
39) be a shoulder to cry on
40) love more... completely uninhibited
41) get more sleep
42) hug someone every day (other than Mia)

He fulfills promises

We spend our lives trying to make sense of God... trying to understand Him. He moves in completely unexpected and unpredictable ways. I mean look at Abraham. God made a covenant with Abraham. He made a promise that He would bless Abraham and that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars in the sky and that they would be a great nation. I can picture Abraham: full of hope and faith; knowing that His God was a God who fulfilled promises. But then the unexpected happened... God was silent. Things didn't quickly fall into place like Abraham thought they would. God didn't move immediately. Instead, all Abraham was left with was a barren, contemptuous wife and a pitch black sky filled with millions of radiant stars which represented this seemingly impossible covenant.



But, in His own timing, in His own way... God moved. He fulfilled this incredible promise.



Wait... so what is a covenant? It's a one-way agreement where the covenanter (God) is the only party bound by the promise. Consequentially, the only party that can break a covenant is the covenanter. Did you catch that? God made this covenant with Abraham which meant that this was set in stone... done. no Indian giving. This promise could NOT be taken back. Amazing! YET... because of the unpredictability of the Lord and the way He chooses to move, Abraham ended up doubting God and He and Sarah tried to take matters into their own hands, resulting in a huge fiasco.

The same lessons apply for us today. It all begins with faith. Genesis 15:6 says that Abraham's faith was accounted to his as righteousness. But Abraham's downfall was his impatience. He wanted to see immediate results. He didn't want to wait. And when God didn't act instantaneously, Abraham decided He'd help God out. Also, God defies all odds. What is impossible with man is possible with God. There is nothing too big or too small for God.





Isaiah 55:8 & 9...

8The LORD says:
"My thoughts and my ways
are not like yours.
9Just as the heavens
are higher than the earth,
my thoughts and my ways
are higher than yours.

beautiful feet

So here are a few quotes and things that I've been thinking about lately...


"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe."

“Grace isn't a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It's a way to live.”

"But in the brief time since Jesus went back to heaven, His invitation has morphed into something less. Much less. We've turned "go" and "spread" into complicated programs best left to missionaries and preachers. We've reduced "all the world" and "all creation" to just folks who walk through the front door at church, and we've shrunk the Good News to a shoft list of words that will save a soul from Hell. Isn't there more?!" -McKinley

Romans 10:13-15 (New Century Version)
13 as the Scripture says, "Anyone who calls on the Lord will be saved."
14 But before people can ask the Lord for help, they must believe in him; and before they can believe in him, they must hear about him; and for them to hear about the Lord, someone must tell them;15 and before someone can go and tell them, that person must be sent. It is written, "How beautiful is the person who comes to bring good news."

"Solution" -Hillsong:

It is not a human right

To stare not fight

While broken nations dream

Open up our eyes, so blind

That we might find

The Mercy for the need



Singing, Hey now

Fill our hearts with your compassion

Hey now

As we hold to our confession

Yeah



It is not too far a cry

To much to try

To help the least of these

Politics will not decide

If we should rise

And be your hands and feet



Singing, Hey now

Fill our hearts with your compassion

Hey Now

As we hold to our confession



Woah-oh-oh,

God be the solution

Woah-oh-oh

We will be Your hands and be Your feet.

Yeah, yeah



Higher than a circumstance

Your promise stands

Your love for all to see

Higher than protest line and dollar signs

Your love is all we need



Only You can mend the broken heart

And cause the blind to see

Erase complete the sinners past

And set the captives free

Only You can take the widows cry

And cause her heart to sing

Be a Father to the fatherless

Our Savior and our King

We will be Your hands, we will be Your feet

We will run this race

On the darkest place, we will be Your light

We will be Your light



We will be Your hands , we will be Your feet

We will run this race for the least of these

In the darkest place, we will be your light

We will be your light

We'll sing



Woah-oh-oh,

God be the solution

Woah-oh-oh

We will be Your hands and be Your feet.



Woah-oh-oh,

God be the solution

Woah-oh-ohWe will be Your hands and be Your feet.

Yeah, yeah



We will run we will run

We will run with the solution [2x]



We will be Your hands we will be Your feet

We will run this race for the least of these

In the darkest place we will be Your light

We will be Your light

We sing

I'm in Florida!

I'm in Florida! Mia did seriously awesome in the car on the way here. She had a lot of fun sleeping at the hotel. She was excited to be sleeping somewhere new. She really impressed me. She loves that movie "Mamma Mia", so we listened to the soundtrack at least 5 times. But the trip was surprisingly easy and fast.

I'm LOVING the weather here. Upper 70's. Today we went to the beach for an hour or so. Mia had fun collecting shells and digging in the sand. She didn't want anything to do with the water though... too cold.

Anyway, I'll write a longer post hopefully tomorrow. Hope you had a great weekend!

some pet peeves....

Okay so I've been home for a month. That's totally insane. It feels like I just got home yesterday. I miss you, South Africa.

So anyway, I'll be leaving for Florida in around 6 hours from now. I'm so glad that I came to Virginia and got to see all of my family here and now I'm really excited to go get warm in Florida and see my other set of grandparents. The trip is 17 hours so we'll be stopping at a hotel tomorrow night. Am I the only person that seriously enjoys staying in hotels? I really like it... makes me feel like a kid again. Hopefully Mia will be an ANGEL in the car tomorrow and Saturday. She usually does great in the car. Plus its a thousand times better than being squished in a hot bus for 21+ hours... (been there, done that). However, she's really not used to the whole car seat thing. A year without a car seat and now she has to be restrained in a car seat. haha. Too bad. Safety first right?

This is the most random post... So since it's almost 12:30 am and I'm bored and cannot sleep, here's a list of things that annoy me/ things that suck:

1.) When my jeans drag on the ground after it rains.

2.) When people leave a drop of milk/juice in the jug. Just finish it and THROW IT AWAY.

3.) unanswered texts.

4.) lingering hugs.

5.) disgusting, massive, flying cockroaches.

6.) when you're trying to have a conversation with someone and they're looking around/ texting.

7.) licorice.

8.) annoying people who talk too much when you're trying to fall asleep on the plane.

9.) small talk.

10.) overpriced stuff.

11.) apathetic people.

12.) not being able to fall asleep but being REALLY tired.

13.) spam.

14.) getting a splinter.

15.) when old people try to act like teenagers.

16.) automatic flushing toilets.

17.) people who do not replace a roll of toilet paper when they finish it up, then you realize that there's no toilet paper... when it's too late.

18.) telemarketers.

19.) not remembering your dream from the night before.

20.) misplacing my cell phone.

21.) dumb commercials... specifically heath care commercials.

22.) know it alls.

23.) legalism.

24.) cold jeans.

25.) getting butter/greasy nastiness on the top of your hand when reaching into a bag of popcorn. yucky.

26.) obnoxious people who talk REALLY loud on their cell phones in public.

27.) when people say "I'm on my way. I'll be there in 2 minutes", and half an hour later you're STILL waiting. (ahem...)

28.) Those chain letters that say "if you're really a Christian you'll pass this onto 10 other people" asseblief. Go away.

29.) awkward goodbyes... not knowing whether or not to hug someone or shake hands or none of the above.

30.) Pee on the toilet seat. gross.

31.) creepy old men.

32.) people who're completely obsessed with celebrities.

33.) sports channels/ sports news.

34.) when people feel the need to pick their nose right in front of me. and by people, I mean ADULTS. please please stop it.

35.) over drafting.

36.) watery eyes from cutting onions.

37.) when you use bleach and your hands smell like bleach for like 2 weeks straight.

38.) when you squeeze a lemon and completely forget that you have a cut on your hand. Oh the pain!

39.) not taking enough pictures on vacation and getting home and realizing it.

40.) WhEn PeOpLe TyPe LiKe ThIs!

41.) taking a big sip of milk and realizing it's already spoiled.

42.) when people "forget" about the messes they've made... such as leaving leftover dinner in the oven for at least 2 weeks and having living creatures residing in it. thank you whoever did that. I'll never forget that incident. disgusting.

43.) Hearing "MOMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" and banging on the bathroom door when trying to have 2 seconds of alone time to pee. ( :) oh the joys of motherhood!)

44.) touching nail polish that hasn't dried yet and smearing it everywhere.

45.) a stain on your favorite shirt.

46.) people who pick at their feet/ toe nails in front of me. please... don't.

47.) google ads. "free ipod" etc. riiiiiiight... nothing's FREE

48.) an unflushed public toilet. how hard is it to just flush??

49.) the Tyra Banks show. worst show in the history of the world...

50.) mosquitoes.

51.) people who can't take a joke.

52.) delayed flights.


Hmm... that felt really good. Glad to get that off my chest. What annoys you? Did I leave something out? ;) Goodnight!

This is me...

So I thought it would be a good idea to tell you more about who I am and what I love. That's what this post is about....


I did my DTS with YWAM Orlando in September 2007. In December 2007, I went on an outreach to South Africa. I fell in love... with Africa and couldn't leave. I ended up staying a year. I just got home last month (December 2008). During the year that I was in South Africa, I did a 6 month Bible School (SBS) with YWAM Jeffrey's Bay, South Africa. After my SBS, I headed east to Durban and staffed the September 2008 DTS at YWAM Durban, South Africa. Most of my posts up until this point have been of my adventures and revelations in South Africa. At the moment I'm desperately seeking God for my next step. I have tons of crazy, exciting ideas but I'm really praying for clarity. My heart is broken for Africa. Missions is a huge part of my life.




Music is my true love. Something about hearing the perfect song at the perfect time... plus God really speaks to me through music. It is one of the things that I don't think I could live without.






I'm desperate to make a difference in the 10/40 window. I know that for the rest of my life I will be a missionary. What exactly that looks like though, I have no idea. God has put a true burden on my heart for the people in the 10/40 window... a burden that started over a year ago. For a while, I was trying to convince myself that the 10/40 window plan was completely insane. I had plenty of great reasons why that would be craziness, but in the past 2 months, this yearning in my heart has been growing stronger daily. I cannot deny it anymore. *There are over 3.6 billion unreached people in the world today. Of those 3.6 billion people, 88% live in or near the 10/40 window. It is estimated that only 4% of foreign missionaries today are working to reach these unreached people.*






I love people. I love people from all different backgrounds. I love hearing stories about people's journey's in life. I love people who're open and honest. I love people who have issues and are honest about them. I have ridiculous amounts of respect for Christians who can say: "Yes! I have struggles. I am not perfect. I do not have it all together." I just love genuine people. And isn't that what the world is after? More people who can just be real?












I'm a single mom. Being a mother is nothing short of amazing. It's also more challenging than I ever thought it would be. My daughter's name is Mia and she'll be turning 3 in February. She's the love of my life and I completely adore her. I cannot imagine my life without her nor would I want to.















I love the outdoors. I love sitting out on a dock and watching the sunset over the lake. Or maybe even better, I love watching the sunrise at 4:30 am with a great friend and a warm blanket. I love camping down at the river and laughing with old friends in front of a fire. I love summer time and being able to take a drive into the mountains and hike and check out some amazing waterfalls. I love the beach in Jeffrey's Bay-some of my best memories are of the breezy, 72 degree weather days when Christina and I would grab a sheet, a book and a bottle of grapetizer (it's a South African thing ;)) and lay out at the beach for hours on end.














Other randoms joys: {Chocolate-although I've gotten spoiled on Cadbury and now it's pretty much the only chocolate I like} {FRIENDS} {REAL coffee... not nescafe instant crap} {Meeting new people, especially other missionaries} {Laughing hysterically} {FAMILY} {Late night girl talk (every night for 7 months) with Christina} {reading} {Silliness} {Meeting people who inspire me by living radically for Jesus} {TRAVELING!!} { Rad times of worship and intercession} {Driving with the windows down} {Boiled Peanuts} {Movies}

Relaxin' in Virginia

The date on that last post isn't right... I don't know why the date is messed up but anyway... I'm in Virginia freezing my butt off until January 9th. I came up here with my parents, Cole and Mia on Sunday. My parents and Cole left on Wednesday and I'm staying here and spending some time with my grandparents and relaxing. This is a TINY little town that I'm in. Other than a Food Lion down the road, the closest store is like 15 minutes away! Today was cold and rainy... I was really hoping to see snow, but it didn't happen. Cold weather is not pleasant when it's rainy and windy. Not to mention that Cole gave me his germs and now I'm coming down with a cold. This weather does nothing to help that. But other than being cold and getting my brother's germs, I'm doing wonderful. It's so so so good to see my grandparents and spend some time with them and get some much needed rest.

Mia seems especially old lately. I dunno she really seems to have grown up, even in the few weeks that we've been back home. She talks about as much as a 4 year old. Wonder where she gets that from?... She seems to be having a great time with my grandparents here in Virginia. She's not too keen on the cold weather though. Mia has an incredible memory; she's been telling stories of things she did in Durban and Jeffrey's Bay. She tells stories about things she's done or seen and she is constantly talking about her South African friends (or my friends rather). Almost every day she asks me "Mommy where is ____" and she'll ask a different person almost every day. But before I can answer her questions, she answers it herself like this: "OH! I know where _____ is! He's in Jbay!" Literally every day she talks about Christina (my best friend and roommate from Jeffrey's Bay). She talks about how we're all best friends and she informs me that Christina now lives in Michigan. :)
Anyway, other than relaxing and freezing, nothing much is going on. Man it feels good to say that! It's a good feeling knowing that I have absolutely no plans for a week... Hope y'all had a great Christmas and New Year!